When I close eyes and envision the moment before the year is truly over, I would imagine that I'd have a mini flashback of all the significant moments of 2014, just like a movie; the air would suddenly shift; my body would tense and suddenly relax at the prospect of a new beginning and I would feel a surge of unadulterated happiness as soon as the new year begins.
In reality, I was in my parents' big comfy bed...convincing myself not to succumb to slumber because, well, 12 o' clock is a really important moment..right?
Wrong.
I fell asleep till my brother ran into the room and jumped on the bed screaming "happy new year!". When I realized I missed it, I was hit by a tsunami sized wave of utter disappointment. Where was the flashback? Where was anticipation? Where was the magic? And just like that, I began to wonder whether there really was anything special about the new year. I shut my eyes and snuggled into bed hoping to wake up, a changed woman.
When I finally woke up and checked my phone, I let my eyes linger over the new date. Maybe if I looked at it long enough something would happen!
Still nothing.
It dawned on me, then, that a new year would never change me. It is just another ordinary day, really. The rest of the world sees it as the beginning of something great, I look at it as a way to start over, an opportunity to make a change for myself and the people around me and an excuse to make a long list of things I would like to get done but never will.
So no, it won't change me overnight. But maybe, just maybe, it will give me the courage to grow and bloom before the clock strikes 12 next year.
In reality, I was in my parents' big comfy bed...convincing myself not to succumb to slumber because, well, 12 o' clock is a really important moment..right?
Wrong.
I fell asleep till my brother ran into the room and jumped on the bed screaming "happy new year!". When I realized I missed it, I was hit by a tsunami sized wave of utter disappointment. Where was the flashback? Where was anticipation? Where was the magic? And just like that, I began to wonder whether there really was anything special about the new year. I shut my eyes and snuggled into bed hoping to wake up, a changed woman.
When I finally woke up and checked my phone, I let my eyes linger over the new date. Maybe if I looked at it long enough something would happen!
Still nothing.
It dawned on me, then, that a new year would never change me. It is just another ordinary day, really. The rest of the world sees it as the beginning of something great, I look at it as a way to start over, an opportunity to make a change for myself and the people around me and an excuse to make a long list of things I would like to get done but never will.
So no, it won't change me overnight. But maybe, just maybe, it will give me the courage to grow and bloom before the clock strikes 12 next year.
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